I heard this story from more than one person during the vistation or after the funeral:
I spoke with your father after my mother [husband, father,...loved one] died and asked him, "Why me?"
His first response was, "Why not you?" and then he said, Why is the wrong question, you'll never be able to answer it.
The real question is " How then shall we live?"
Here's another version found on the web:
The past two weeks have been exceedingly sad ones for my fellow parishioners at All Peoples United Church. A son and a nephew – both age 32 – died within a week of each other. They each leave behind a wife and children, parents and extended family, and friends and co-workers who are in shock, who keep expecting the lads to phone them or just show up in the kitchen. And the question is “Why!? Why did this happen!”
At the funeral of the son of two members of my congregation, the presiding minister, Rev. Ed Erion, encouraged us to focus not on the “why” – because there is no answer we will ever be satisfied with. Instead we need to gather ourselves to ask, “How then shall we live?” How shall we live in such as way as to honour these men – indeed any loved ones who have died. More specifically, how can we continue not only the memories but the missions of others – especially those whose lives have been cut short.
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I first met Ed when my children and I moved back to Ontario in 1987. He was so resourceful, patient and loving to my family. He and Jean supported my children and I thru illness and extreme circumstances. He was NEVER judgmental or harsh but was always loving and inclusive. I was often mistaken for Connie at Church. One day, my baby who at the time was only about nine months old, wriggled out of my lap and headed straight for Ed, who was conducting his sermon...Zack ran straight into Ed's loving, outstretched arms and there he stayed for the rest of the service. Yes, we were considered part of the family, both at Church and in the community! I was baptized by Ed as an adult because there appeared to be no records of my baptism as a child. It was a beautifully touching sentiment. We were blessed to have Ed perform our marriage in his backyard 10 Aprils ago. It was unseasonably hot and sunny that day. Jean, my dad and sons were also in attendance that day. It was a beautiful start to our new life as husband and wife. Both Ed and Jean contributed so much to our lives over 22 years that we cannot imagine life without him. My husband Mike lodged at the Erions for a time while working near Sudbury and he was never one for the conventions of religion...he now feels certain that he will never know another man like Ed. I echo those sentiments.
ReplyDeleteLove always,
Sandra and Mike
Thanks, Sandra. I especially like the store of Zack spending part of the service in Ed's arms.
ReplyDeleteA similar occurence took place at Connie's wedding: our neice, Jessica, was a flower-girl along with Bronwyn, my daughter. Jessica lost track of her mom and started to scream. Ed took her in his arms and conducted the next part of the ceremony with her clinging to him.
Chuck
The more I am able to read about Ed, the more of him I see in you, and through you, in your children. What a wonderful legacy for him and your mother!
ReplyDeleteSo many people wrap themselves around the axle, trying to figure out the "Why?" and even more, the ego-screaming "Why ME?" questions. Your dad was right on the mark all the time ... not only can you not answer those questions, even if you could it would be too late for any answer to be truly relevant.
The only real response is, "How shall we then live?" or, more to the point, "How then shall I live [in response to this]?"
With love and all blessings to you and all your extended family,
as ever ...
Brian <3